Parents Rising: 8 Strategies For Raising Kids Who Love God, Respect Authority, and Value What’s Right by Arlene Pellicane

Stars: *****

Moody Publishers (2018)
Parenting
164 pages

Disclosure: I received a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review. This post contains affiliate links.

Summary:  Do you feel like you’re fighting a losing battle? Against the culture, against the busyness, sometimes even against your spouse and kids… Often it seems like everything is against you as a parent, and your everyday life can feel far from joy-filled. But it doesn’t need to be that way. Parents Rising will show you eight cultural trends that parents are up against today and what you can do to claim victory. 

This book is about growth not guilt. It’s not a pep talk, or a “try harder” speech. This is real help for real problems that every parent faces. It’s a way to focus your efforts so that they’ll be more effective and you’ll be less exhausted.

Parents Rising: You MUST Rise

This book is exactly what I needed. Part of the introduction reminded me of what I sometimes forget when the kids are saying, “But mom…!”

“You are the leader of your home simply by being who you are. You don’t have to take a course, pass a test, attain perfection, or be born with a certain pedigree. You are the parent of your child, which makes you, by virtue, automatically one deserving of honor and respect.” – pg 15, emphasis mine

Parents Rising is about rising up to take our place back as parents. The world has swung from a place where kids were seen and not heard (too far left) to a place where parents are seen and not heard (too far right). We are being walked on by our children and we are letting the take the lead in their lives, when they don’t know better.

The How Healthy is Your Home? quiz showed me I have let things slide for too long and it’s time to rise and take control of the situation. (The quiz is not about things like how many vegetables the kids eat or if you have HEPA filters but about things like whether your children can handle screen-free days, if they show your honor and if your children are learning life skills.

The Parents Rising Strategies

The eight strategies Arlene covers are as follows: Amusement is Not the Highest Priority, Parents Call the Shots, Routine and Boundaries Provide Security, The Bible and Prayer Every Day, Marriage Takes a Front Seat, Good Food Served on the Table, Love is spelled T-I-M-E and Launching Adults, Not Babying Children.

The book is so good (and something so many need) that I think those who aren’t Christian should read it too. Ignore the religious parts if you really want to but her message is something I want to scream out to the world.

Perhaps the parents of yesteryear were too strict. Some didn’t express love in words. They didn’t cuddle or coddle. Kids were seen and not heard. The adult was large and the child was small. But the pendulum has swung to the opposite extreme. We hover over our children because they are the center of our lives. We’re constantly singing their praises and protecting their fragile self-esteem. Kids’ music fills the minivan, and favorite cartoons and video games dominate the screens. Kids are calling the shots, and parents are taking the orders. Too often the child is large and the adult is small.

Somewhere in between yesterday and today is the right balance. Now more than ever, for the sake of the next generation, it’s time to seek that balance and send a clarion call to our children: We are your parents. We love you. We are in charge.” – pg 41

Modesty Talk

Modesty has been on my mind a lot lately. I have two tween girls and I’ve tried to teach them modesty without going overboard. I’m okay with them wearing pants and their hair uncovered but bikinis and crop tops are too much. I’ve struggled with finding information on this “middle-ground” modesty.

Arlene gives a Truth-or-Bare fashion test which I just love and will be sharing with my kids that involves three tests to see if the clothes they are wearing are modest. My girls don’t seem to be able to tell right now when what they are wearing is too small, too tight or too revealing so I’ll be teaching them these. I’ll share one of them:

I See London, I See France. Bend over and touch your knees. Have your mom look at your bottom. Can she see the outline of your underpants? Can she see what color they are? Can she see your actual underwear? If your pants are so tight you can see small outlines of your underwear, your pants are too small.

I like that they can do these tests with each other and help each other make modest choices.

Don’t Just Read… Do

At the end of each chapter are three small sections that help ensure you aren’t just reading great advice but are planning to put it into action. First you will find a Parents Rising Question that will have you thinking about how the chapter fits with your life. Second the Parents Rising Prayer will ensure you are getting God to help you with your situation. Third the Parents Rising Action Step gets you started on making changes.

Final Thoughts

I haven’t read this good a parenting book in a while and I may just read it again to help me make sure I’m putting the ideas into practice. I have plans for the future to get back to where I should be and I can’t recommend Parents Rising enough.

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